Happiness is a funny topic. Most of the time when I raise it with my clients they initially feel like it's an idealistic "pie in the sky" kind of concept. We have become almost obsessed these days with being enraged. There is this notion that if you are not enraged then you are being ignorant or turning a blind eye. Doing what makes you happy has become counter culture.
When I saw the sign above on the side walk on Newbury Street in Boston a couple of weeks ago it really made me stop. The colors on the sign are so brilliant that they made the message stand out even louder.
What would it look like if you chose what made you happy?
It was a question I began to ponder. What would that look like if I chose happiness? Yes, that is to say that happiness IS a choice. The things that came to mind were plentiful.
I would probably not let the things that I typically let bother me get underneath my skin. Things like people diagonally walking in Boston. When I am walking behind someone who diagonally walks it makes my blood BOIL! But why? Why does the zig zag pattern of someone 's walking drive me so bananas?
When I sit with that question, I come up with the fact that it is totally out of my control and THAT is what annoys me! In that moment, I am at a loss because I can't control how another person walks. It sounds totally INSANE when I say this out loud but it's the TRUTH.
Where in this scenario is the place where happiness lies? Definitely not in my anger. But maybe it resides in the process of letting go. My notorious pet peeve is just a small example of all the ways we can get into an internal struggle with our external environment. In that moment when your co-worker is annoying you, or the project is not moving fast enough, or the customer/client is becoming rude/challenging, you are forced to look at where we are actually powerless. For those that are Type A (much like myself and my people) THIS my friends is torture!
But the truth is that the only way that we regain our power is by
Letting Go.
Once we let go of control, we are able to find the happy place that resides within. We are then free to do the things that make us happy. See happiness is not an unattainable goal. It is not something that resides in the external world. It is instead something that we choose. It is available in every moment; especially in the moments where it seems to be hiding.
The key on the journey is finding the willingness to choose happiness. We have to be willing to let go of our incessant need to be in control, to be right, to our right to be angry. We have to let go of all the things that make us tense, irritable and actually out of control. It's actually the willingness to let go that begins the process of regaining our own sense of empowered self control. This empowerment opens the door to the freedom to choose happiness.
Having the ability to deal with the crazy without BEING crazy is a key skill in life. One that takes patience to cultivate. My mother would always say "Stephanie, patience is a virtue." Yes, yes it is Mom. I am not known to be the most patient of people. Those of us who are Type A generally are not. That being said, when I can take a deep breath in and let go of my need to control,, I find that happiness comes to me with ease.
Lasting happiness is found within. Fleeting happiness is found in the external world. The more we focus on people, places and things to bring us happiness, the more lost we become.
So for today, do what truly makes you happy.
Do what makes you feel alive.
Do what makes you giggle with glee.
For me that is to find the humor in the every day things in life that could otherwise make me frustrated. Finding the humor in the absurd leads to freedom. I also love to dance, be silly and make people laugh.
I, like most people, have been through my fair fair share of challenging situations. Finding the freedom to laugh ab out it all has definitely been met savior.
So I ask again...
What would it look like if you chose what made you happy?
What would it look like to let go of the need to control everything and instead just choose your own happiness?
It may seem like a tough challenge to take on but isn't it one that's worth the effort?
Go head and...
JUST DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!
Cheers!
Feel like having some support in the journey towards finding a happy YOU? Contact me here and schedule anappointment today!
Stephanie Troy, LICSW
Mind/Body Therapist & Trainer
